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A Restless Journey

London, January, 2013.

 

In January 2013 I found my world turned upside down when I packed up my life to move halfway across the world for a job as a Fashion Photographer in London. In a shoebox apartment on Bricklane in Londons East, I found myself surrounded by doubt - I yearned for the life I'd left at home, a need to keep moving and a feeling that if I turned around and went back, I would be a failure. 

I quickly fell out of love with Fashion, Photography and lost the passion that had initially driven me to London. My journal from the time if rife with pained statements that reflect a pretty dreadful state of mind. I'd made a bad choice. One that changed my future in so many ways - luckily, all of them positive. I learnt in a very short amount of time, exactly what I didn't want to do with my life. I packed up again. Said goodbye to my friends and housemates. I flew to Indonesia.

Months earlier, I had begun the year in New York City, on a rooftop of a high rise on the Upper West Side. From the top you could see for miles - all edged of Central Park stretched before us, The Rock off in the distance, partially hidden behind a compound jungle of concrete and glass windows. That rooftop offered up endless possibilities, at midnight on New Years it was a promise of a bright year ahead - foreign and wild, it felt like making something happen, and it felt like home.

Weeks later, the prosperity of the year ahead began to falter. Reality hit with forever impending rain clouds and a television stuck on the same channel. My rooftops dreams were traded in for a warm flat with a view of 100 other flats. I was surrounded by friends, but I was lonely. I had a roof over my head, and yet I felt misplaced. Things went downward fast. I lost all faith in my own ambitious plans. 

It took a year and a great deal of travelling, conversations with likeminded friends and strangers, a supportive community of talented photographers and a series of reckless adventures to find something to hold onto again. In 2015, before taking off to the USA, I began to journal my adventures pasta and present on Instragram. Field Notes was created and everything accelerated. I fell in love all over again.